Little Wing

Little wing, he used to called her. She has now returned to her little black box, hiding in the safest place she knows. He tried to open the box but failed. She decided that she didn't wanna go out anymore. Little wing is now safe in her little black box..

To You

To every one who said I can't,
who said I won't,
who said I'd failed,
who said I'm not the one,
thank you for giving the motivation I needed to prove you are wrong.

To every one who said I can,
who said I would,
who said I'd succeeded,
who said I'm the one,
thank you for giving me the support and love I needed to stay strong.

Thank You

I stopped dreaming, you helped me build new dreams. 

I stopped believing, you gave me reasons to believe. 

I stopped loving, you showed me how to love unconditionally. 

For everything you are, and everything you have given me, taught me, thank you. 

Life

When I recently opened my Facebook account, the first post that showed up on my timeline was a video of my friend's son's first birthday celebration. It led me to thinking of how amazing life is. We never knew what we eventually know. Who would have thought that my friend, who was a bad boy now became a successful businessman and married to a Vietnamese girl. But now we know, I know. 

Ten years ago I wouldn't have imagined my current life, where I stand, what I've been through, who I am now. So there, life goes on. All we need to do is to live in the moment, and to live life to the fullest. It may sound cliche, but it is true. No matter how fast technology grows, one thing I am sure of: man can never create a time machine. Because time belongs to life. And us, mankind, can only live it. 

Try

I recently passed final round interview for a cabin crew opportunity at one of the world's best airline. It was my third try. I tried two other airlines previously and was rejected by both due to physical requirements. I am so glad now that I didn't give up. I was very pessimistic and was ready to be rejected the third time. Who knew I made it this far. I am not hired yet, but to have made it until the last round was beyond expectation. So ladies, stay positive and keep trying! There will always be new lesson learned each and every day. You may not see it now, but you will eventually.

My Philosophy

I just completed my 1000 jigsaw puzzle today. When I first started, I was sure that the pieces were incomplete. Towards the end I was frustrated and all the pieces didn't seem to make any sense. But eventually, I made it. Slowly but sure. Piece by piece. There's this particular joy and happiness when I look at the picture and remember the memory behind it, and the effort put into it. Just like life. A friend once said, "No matter how hard the puzzle, and whether you don't think you have all the pieces, if you work hard enough it will become a beautiful picture."

We all have struggles, problems and obstacles in our lives. Whether it is work problems, relationship problems, financial problems. Sometimes we feel like there's no solutions. We lose hope. We despair. We forget or ignore to remember, it's not the end of the world. "This too shall pass." Only after we go through all the misery in life can we find and feel the true beauty and purpose of life itself. Life goes on. Memories fade. Sometimes in the end we realise what seemed to matter a lot didn't matter at all, or won't matter any more. Just keep the faith, learn the lessons, and know that you are stronger than you think you could be.

Sandiwaraku

Kemarin saya merayakan hari kasih sayang bersama dengan ibu saya di sebuah mal. Hal pertama yang kami lakukan begitu sampai adalah makan kecil di sebuah restoran menu barat. Saat saya mau minta bill, ibu saya buru-buru berdiri dan langsung menuju ke kasir supaya beliau bisa bayar. Reaksi pertama saya adalah mengomentari ibu saya "Mama jangan malu-maluin dong." Saya langsung menyesali perkataan saya tersebut. Niat baik ibu saya mau membayar malah saya balas dengan perkataan yang dilandasi gengsi seperti itu. Setelah itu saya langsung minta maaf ke beliau dan menyampaikan bahwa maksud saya hanya ingin membayar. Tapi sesudah minta maaf pun hati saya masih tidak tenang, dipenuhi rasa bersalah.

Dewasa ini hidup kita bagai sebuah panggung sandiwara. Kita menampilkan sisi kita ke dunia seperti yang mereka inginkan saja. Kenapa bayar langsung di kasir di rumah makan sederhana tidak memalukan, tapi di restoran atau kafe ternama memalukan? Karena lingkungan membuat 'peraturan' seperti itu. Jadi kita pun mengikuti apa yang "seharusnya" di mata dunia, bukan yang "sebaiknya" dan "sebenarnya". Memberi tips tidak lagi seikhlasnya, tapi sewajarnya sesuai rata-rata pemberian tips orang pada umumnya. Daftar belanja tidak lagi berdasarkan kebutuhan, tapi semata hanya untuk bersanding dengan kedudukan sosial. Niat baik tidak lagi didasari ketulusan, melainkan keharusan, kewajiban dan kemunafikan. Tidak lelah kah kita hidup di dunia yang fana ini terus berkompetisi untuk menjadi "manusia" ala dunia?

Rasa dan Asa

Sering kali saya baru menyadari betapa berharganya sesuatu saat saya kehilangan sesuatu itu. Setiap hari saya lalui dengan keluhan. Dari masalah pekerjaan, kesehatan, hubungan dengan teman dan keluarga, kisah percintaan, kondisi finansial, dsb. Hidup saya pun terasa tidak bahagia dan sangat melelahkan. Rasanya semua perjuangan saya sia-sia, menjalani rutinitas tanpa hasil. Padahal kalau mau saya telusuri kembali, saya bukannya tidak mencapai hasil apa-apa. Malahan, pencapaian saya terus beranjak. Kondisi fisik saya lebih kuat. Pekerjaan saya lebih baik dari segi pendapatan, yang secara tidak langsung memengaruhi kondisi finansial saya juga. Saya mencintai orang yang mencintai saya. Keluarga dan teman-teman saya pun tetap ada bagi saya. Tapi kapankah terakhir saya berhenti sejenak untuk berpikir, betap beruntungnya saya, betapa bersyukurnya saya dengan kehidupan yang saya miliki? Jujur, saya tidak ingat. Mungkin sudah lama sekali, atau tidak pernah sama sekali.

Ketika sakit, saya mengeluh. Ketika sehat, saya tidak bersyukur.
Ketika menganggur, saya mengeluh. Ketika bekerja, saya tidak bersyukur.
Ketika ada masalah, saya mengeluh. Ketika semua berjalan baik, saya tidak bersyukur.

Jadi, ketika saya tidak bahagia, salahkan siapa? Saya.